My Friend Is a Schizophrenic

Schizophrenia

I was thinking about my friend Dwight who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. We lost contact for about a year or two but then about 3 years ago he started calling much more regularly than he had been but he would always sound weird… His voice was really dragged out and slow. The first time I heard him speak like that I asked him, “What’s wrong with your voice?”

Hello Pussy

Brixton Train Platform

Last night I was standing on the train platform waiting for my train home in the subzero British weather and my phone rang. Before I had the chance to say hello… My ears witnessed an emotional torrent. It was Ruth, shrieking down the phone in an incensed manner, “He said Hello Pussy… can you believe it??? HELLO PUSSY!!!” I had left her a few minutes previously and in this short space of time a random man took it upon himself to bestow upon her a “Hello Pussy” greeting. What kind of man greets a woman like this?

Ying Yang Twins Whispering Is Sexy

Ying Yang Twins

Now ain’t that some shit! A seemingly decent young woman uttering such obscene language. This just shows that you can never judge a book by its cover. Behind seemingly innocent faces often lurk, a persona that goes weak at the knees on the appearance of unwashed dreadlocks, incoherent sentences and metallic breath. You learn something new every day. Acting as if you are illiterate, brandishing a mouth full of hot metal and “whispering” graphic sexual language as though you have emphysema and are high on crack is not sexy. Well not to me anyway, but apparently to Ruth it is.

The Joy Of Being A Nose Picker

Nose Picker

I was just thinking last night about unnecessary lies and why people tell em. I can understand lying to reassure someone or make them feel good… you know things that it is acceptable to lie about. I have a friend who gets a kick out of lying, well I assume she must do or she wouldn’t do it so much…I have come to the conclusion that maybe she felt neglected as a child and is trying to make up for it now. I remember her telling me that she couldn’t pick her nose because her nostrils were too small (I know gross right) and I actually felt sorry for her because, on the real; imagine never being able to pick your nose…

Reaching Patong

Patong Beach

My first time in Asia and boy what an experience! I honesty don’t know how a black person stays in Asia their whole life. this isn’t my post but just put here for now so that all the categories will show.

The Portuguese is FLY!

White Shirt and Blue Jeans

Before he left he said to me, “You’re not working tommorrow, are you?” *heart palpitations* Was this a sign that he wants to ask me out? Or was he just asking so he knew when he could return the application form? I told him that No, we weren’t open on Saturday, so he would be best of returning later on today.

The Atlanta Bomber

Suicide Bombers

We get to the airport and I remember the person at the checkout desk trying to hurry us onto an earlier plane. We didn’t know why at the time but I remember that we didn’t want to as we didn’t want to rush or hang around Texas for hours on end. So anyway we hang around the airport… take our time and then make our way to the gate at the designated time of our original flight.

Welcome to Jamrock

Woman reading

Jamaica, Jamaica. Welcome to Jamrock! Virgin Flight 69. There I was fresh from the upgrade success in Brazil and ready to blag my way into business or first class. I tried my luck, to no avail. I was refused and took the blow like my name was Evander, proceeding to first class like a champ.