Sleeping with Prostitutes on Vacation

Prostitution Sign

While in Brazil over The New Year, one guy we were hanging out with, Neville was frustrated at the fact that he was unable to pick up a chick due to language barriers. (It was his own fault I had advised him on numerous occasion that he needed to learn the language.) Kay suggested to him that he should pay for one. Neville scoffed at the idea that he should need to pay for ass, while Kay kept on at him. He kept insisting that he just needed a few chat up lines and then he would be able to pull. Kay couldnt understand why he wouldnt just pay for it and accused him of being cheap, even offering up her own cash so that he could get laid.

Booking My Brazil Apartment


During the course of the day I started thinking about the apartment in Brazil I had booked and how the dude I was renting from still hadn’t replied to my email. (I have sent like 3 so you know that’s serious) To give a bit of background information I emailed they guy about 2 weeks ago and asked him what was going on as I hadn’t heard back from him and I didn’t know what was going to happen when I got there… how I was going to get the keys etc… so anyway I get through to his phone in Belgium (after the phone had been cut off for the past week) and his wife picks up and after a lot of scuffling around he comes to the phone and sound surprised that I am calling

Spain is Racist

Spain Map

Spain is one place that I can unequivocally say I shall not go to again. I heard that they were racist bitches and I really saw it too. From the stares to being treated as if you are invisible it is a place that certainly does not need to be considered in future vacation plans…

I Don’t Do Text Message Conversations

Text Message

I recieved a text something along the lines of, “How are you?” Now WHY OH WHY do people do this? I would never text someone, “How are you?” What is the point when you know that the answer 99.9 f the time the answer is gonna be, “I’m fine” or some variation of? And if a person isnt fine they aren’t about to get into it in a text message. So anyway I texted back, “I’m fine”(or some variation of *oh how so fukking predictable*) and why did this muthafukka start trying to get into some conversation about my love life or percieved lack of LOL!!! At this point I was not about to get into any text conversation at 12p a text when I have free calls so I just texted back (this was meant to be final mind you… let him know I do NOT do text conversations), “I know you are not trying to get into no damned text conversation.” Dude replies “no” and continues to ask another question! What the hell? If you want to have a conversation pick up the blasted telephone!

Disgracing myself at Superdrugs


o today after work I went into Superdrug’s (That is like CVS, Eckard or Walgreens for you Americans) to pick up a few bits and pieces. I got to the till and when the lady who was the cashier scanned through my facewash I thought I saw it come up as £3.99 despite being advertised as £2.49. I picked up the face wash and asked her, “Did this come up as £3.99?” She replied, “Yeah” “Oh I saw it advertised on the shelf for £2.49.” She pressed the bell to call for assistance. You know where they get some skivvy running up to the till that gets sent to go and check the price, usually where the bar code has rubbed off. The skivvy comes and sees the face wash (Johnson & Johnson’s Daily Exfoliating Wash in case you were wondering) and says, “Oh that is definitely on special offer.”

To Be a Glamour Puss Is Hard Work


I wish I could be a glamour puss… but I for the life of me cannot glam up every day. I don’t know how people do it. Every single bloody day! I love my sleep too much to wake up the extra 45 minutes it would take to make myself look glam… Fixing hair, face, and clothes takes time. Some people always manage to look immaculate 24-7… that’s like a full time job on top of a full time job. I guess they must be used to it… It becomes an essential part of their daily routine. I’m lucky if I have time enough to brush my hair and iron clothes.

Getting Caught Having A Fag

So at work we have this new manager and she doesn’t like people going off to smoke in pairs despite there being 7 of us in the office (well when there is a full house anyway which is practically never!). We are entitled to two fifteen minute breaks a day plus lunch but yet every time you try and go off she gives a disapproving glare or tries to engineer some task so that you can’t go and smoke with someone else. This means that if you want to go and smoke with someone else in the office sneaky tactics are needed. This is usually done by one person passing through one door under the guise of going to fill a water bottle/collect mail/ using the lavatory, and another person passing through the other door under some other pretence.