Skiving Off Work And Random Spontaneity

Do you have a “fuck you!” that you want to say to someone but can’t? Come and say it here. I wrote this when I was at work pissed off as hell. Let me give a bit of background. I word in an educational establishment giving advice. On this day I was posted to another site. When I got there no one knew where I was supposed to be and there were NO materials whatsoever for me to use and no one seemed to know a thing. I work with the biggest bunch of losers to ever walk the face of this planet. If I dared I would gob in the faces of 90 percent of you scumbags.

Caught Red-Handed With An Out Of Date Travelcard

I got to the station this morning and since I have been late to work 50 percent of the time in the past month, I made the conscious decision not to queue for a ticket as it would have resulted in me missing the train and making me late again. I got on the train with my out of date ticket, hoping I could just flash my old one to get through, or even better flash nothing if there were no inspectors and then just buy a new valid one in the station.

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong – The Sensimilla Saga

I took the spliff and took two pulls on it. Almost immediately I felt drowsy and I hate feeling drowsy, unless I’m ready to sleep. Something about watching Chrystal smoke and get high made me just want some. I was bored. It had been so long. I must have forgotten that I don’t even like the high that weed gives. Not long after my two pulls Chrystal’s phone rang. Keep in mind that this was about about 10/11pm. It was one of the guys we had met about a week earlier at a bar. At the time that we had met them there were two of them and two of us so we hung out with them for a couple hours and then exchanged numbers.

My Life As A Teen Prostitute

I was 17 and it was the summer of 1997. I had been working in Dolcis, a shoe shop on Oxford Street for a grand total of 8 days before I got the boot. They told me “it wasn’t working out.” When I probed further I was told that I had caused disenchantment on the shop floor. I can’t lie I did and I felt quite justified in doing so after finding out that the three white girls that were employed there (also teenagers) got paid more that all the darker hued teenage staff. And so I was escorted to my locker to collect my things and walked to the door by a security guard. THE SHAME OF IT!

Attempting To Gatecrash The Brazilian Samba Dance Class

In 5 weeks I’ll be in Brazil, with no clothes and throwing dem bows because I can’t dance samba! I made it worse for myself by going for a “quick drink” after work. Is there such thing as a quick drink? All I know is that one bottle of wine quickly turned into two. Alcohol makes you do the craziest things because after boozing, Kate (Mr Slappy/Shaky Lip’s Dream Date) and I decided that we would gatecrash the samba class an hour into it. We didn’t have any money left to pay for it since we spent it all on alcohol and chips, but in our alcoholic haze we thought we’d go along and jump right in for free since there would probably be no one collecting money by then anyways. WRONG

The Bitch Try Thief My Electricity! Aww Hellz Naw

On Sunday morning the doorbell rang. I didn’t go to answer the door because if I haven’t been warned that someone is coming round then I’m just not going to open the door. After some strange man came round in the middle of the night, my Cote D’Ivorian Stalker and Hassan the dodgy PC dude I can’t be opening the door randomly like that, so I pushed my head up against the window

Fare Evasion On London Trains

fare evader

This morning I got on the train without a ticket. When I left from home this was not my intention, but it just happened. As it was a Bank Holiday yesterday, the queue to buy tickets for the train this morning was horrendous. I had 5 minutes before my train was to come and there was no way that I would get served before the train’s arrival.

Disgracing myself at Superdrugs


o today after work I went into Superdrug’s (That is like CVS, Eckard or Walgreens for you Americans) to pick up a few bits and pieces. I got to the till and when the lady who was the cashier scanned through my facewash I thought I saw it come up as £3.99 despite being advertised as £2.49. I picked up the face wash and asked her, “Did this come up as £3.99?” She replied, “Yeah” “Oh I saw it advertised on the shelf for £2.49.” She pressed the bell to call for assistance. You know where they get some skivvy running up to the till that gets sent to go and check the price, usually where the bar code has rubbed off. The skivvy comes and sees the face wash (Johnson & Johnson’s Daily Exfoliating Wash in case you were wondering) and says, “Oh that is definitely on special offer.”

The Atlanta Bomber

Suicide Bombers

We get to the airport and I remember the person at the checkout desk trying to hurry us onto an earlier plane. We didn’t know why at the time but I remember that we didn’t want to as we didn’t want to rush or hang around Texas for hours on end. So anyway we hang around the airport… take our time and then make our way to the gate at the designated time of our original flight.