Nollywood Premiere With Joke Silva and Richard Mofe Damijo

Since I have become a Nollywood (Nigerian film industry for those that don’t know) Fanatic, I just had to go to this Nollwood Film Premiere that was happening right on my doorstep. Ok, not right on the doorstep, but kinda closeby. On Sunday I went to the State of the Heart Premiere at the Catford Broadway Theatre. Ruth and I were supposed to go but she stood me up, so at the last minute I had to rope someone else into coming. That someone else was Al. We got there an hour late but it was ok since it didn’t really start at 6, like it had stated to the ticket (I guess they knew who they were dealing with and so allowed more than 2 hours extra time!) When we got there, a film was being played called, The Pastors Wife.

Cookie Monster On Crack

On my way to a friend’s house from work I bucked up on a weirdo at the train station. The platform was bustling with people and Deebo starts making a scene. Yes this dude looked something like Deebo. For those that don’t know the black guy in the picture below is Deebo. He was a character in the film Friday

I Hate Shopping

I tried to go shopping today. I say tried because my attempt was highly unsuccessful. I tell you I hate shopping. I got hot, took off my scarf, then got cold, so put it back on and then started sweating like a pig. All in the name of trying to pick up a few clothes this is what I had to go through. The lights in these stores are so bright and hot. They give me migraines and make me want to throw up.

Ending A Relationship

There is a story behind my relationship with Thirteen. It was my unlucky number. Every Friday the 13th, fear of impending doom would consume me, and I must say it was irrational as nothing bad had ever happened to me on any Friday the 13th, but still the fear was real. Thirteen was my enemy. I hated him/her (Thirteen is a hermaphrodite… super-gendered.) I knew that this fear was irrational but somehow I had internalised that it was an unlucky day and 13 an unlucky number and couldn’t escape that feeling.

On My Way to Brazil And I Head To Heathrow Instead Of Gatwick Airport

My journey to HELL begun on Wednesday the 20th of December. I asked for an aisle seat and was allocated 25C, the end seat on a row of three. I knew at least one other seat was free because it had been allocated to my friend when I checked in. I move onto the middle seat while the hustle bustle is going on. I don’t want to get my sides bashes by the trolley dolleys on their aisle strolls.

Snoring That Sounds Like Chairs Scraping Floors

I couldn’t sleep last night. I tossed and turned relentlessly. Every position I lay in felt uncomfortable. On my back I felt helpless, as if I were drowning, then later on my side in the foetal position my shoulders started to hurt. Agitated, I tossed myself onto my front, face down into the pillows – Ugh! Suffocating! Wondering what the time was I reached out to the bedside unit and grabbed my phone. It was almost two in the morning. I started to feel panicked because I knew that once it started to get light outside I would definitely not be able to sleep, however the more I worried about it getting lighter, the harder it became to sink into a sleep.

I’m Always Running Late – Please Forgive My Tardiness

Living so far from work now, I’m late to work probably about twice a week now. This morning I was determined to arrive into work early as there was a 9am meeting and I’ve been late for the last two meetings. I got off to a good start. I woke early and was ready to go much earlier than usual. I approached the front door and gave my bag the routine shake to check that my keys were in place. I didn’t hear the familiar key jingle.

Kissing Cousins – How Would You Handle This Situation?

Chrystal has two children, a 8-year old (Sophie) and a newborn. She was with the kids at her house as well as two other children she was baby sitting who are brother and sister. The girl is her daughter’s friend (Marika) who is also 8 and the little boy (Tim) is 4. Got that? At some point in the evening a friend of hers, Dana comes around with her daughter Tia and nephew Matthew. Tia is 4, as is the little boy.

I Love A Clean House But I’m A Messy Hoarder

When I watch Wife Swap (yes I love ALL reality TV… wanna make something of it?) there is always the obsessive cleaner who is hovering, polishing, dusting, tidying, sweeping, mopping, every day! Every fukkin day for hours at a time, like her name is Superwoman. I don’t get how people have the time or energy to do this. I swear if I didn’t have friends (and shame) I would probably be living in a pit of chaos and squalor. As shameful as it is to admit this I generally do a tidy and clean up when people come round and rarely any time else. It is my sense of getting disgraced that gets the better of me. If I never had visitors I probably wouldn’t clean up half as much.

Hassan The Computer Guy is Confronted By a Pregnant Woman

I came home from work early and put on the computer. My last ditch attempt at trying to get some life out of it, and BINGO BANGO! It came alive! It was like a motherfuckin miracle happening right before my very own eyes. It actually went through to the windows set up. I could not believe it! Maybe it was a sign that Hassan was really a crook and the computer was my protector, bathing me in its light at this vital time. So I’m there happy that my computer can actually switch on, then a warning box pops up telling me that my memory is low. What the hell?