Chasing A Rastaman Called Viviane

It started off with a kiddie’s party. My friend’s son’s first birthday.”1 today!” “Happy Birthday!” While I was setting the tables up I started nibbling, Marshmellows, Tortillas, Mini chocolate sponge cakes, Chocolate rice krispy cakes… Ooooh remind me of coco pops… Turns the milk chocolatey. Popcorn, Nuts, Jelly babies. Somebody please put some sellotape over my mouth! By the time the real food came I was bursting, but being the glutton that I am I managed to find room.

My First Time in Nigeria

I went to Nigeria a couple of days after Christmas 2008 with my parents. It was my first time and since my mother is Nigerian we were meant to stay with her brother in Aguda, Surulere, Lagos. It’s funny because I went to my parent’s homelands both in the same year. I went to Jamaica in May and Nigeria in December. I had been to both Africa and the Caribbean before but never Nigeria or Jamaica.Got to the airport and it was a surreal experience. My mother didn’t even recognise her own brother. (She hasn’t seen him in about 20 years) Both my mother my father were picking out all types of strangers from the crowd.

Under my umbrella – ella – ella – ay

My feet are all shrivelled up, like an old man’s dick, or I should say how I imagine an old man’s dick to be, since I have no experience with old dicks. It has been raining for the last two days like the world is flooding… My ass is cold and tired, even though I haven’t danced too much tonight. I went with Chrystal to a bar/club in the West End called Digress. I digress… wny is it a week until June and it’s FUH-REEZING… Why? I can’t wait to get some heat in my bones and sun on my skin… ooooooh…. weeeeee!

Suzy is a Floozy That A Nigerian Guy Will Never Marry

So on Friday “Jeem” was a bust. He said he wanted to meet but it wasn’t happening, so Ruth and I decided to go out but at the time she was braiding hair and so said she’d come around when she was done, which was meant to be around 10pm but she didn’t even get to me til past midnight… We drank Caiprinhas (I still got 3 bottles of Cachacha that I brought back from Brazil) til almost two and luckily my friend that lives nearby was around and offered to take us to Player’s Club, because I swear we were gonna walk. It looked close on the map but it would have been a trek and a half!

Dancehall Queen Mampie

So in the last blog I let you into my Nollywood groupie-ness. After the picture taking we went to another club and there was more brandy flowing (oh I love Brandy.) Apparently Jim was with a girl. I say apparently because although this chick was in the first place where we were taking pictures I didn’t really notice that they were together (my friend said that it was wishful thinking) Anyways when we rolled up at the second club she wasn’t with them. We got to the door and then *POW* there she was. I think she knew someone in the club because she was the one that was instrumental in us getting to the front of the queue and getting in the place for free.

Becoming A Nollywood Groupie

I swear I am not a muthafuckin groupie…I swear I am not! At least I never thought I could act so irrationally (ok except that one time with Ginuwine and that one time with Five) If you know me in real life then you know that I am a Nollywood fanatic (the Nigerian film industry, in case u aint know) Have been for 8 good weeks and counting. In that short space of time I know everything there is to know about every Nollywood household star. So my Sunday was off to a slow start.