Jesus' Wife Came To Holla At Me With A Red Weave And Pink Plastic Shoes

I saw her big face peering through the window, and didn’t recognise her immediately as she was wearing a huuuuuge red weave and pink ensemble. As soon as she caught sight of me she immediately began waving her grubby oversized mitts at me and bellowed through the door, “Allo darlin’!”

From Homewrecker To Lesbian

I am working with the woman who had the gallstones removed again. You may remember her from MARK MORRISON IS TOO BLACK or I HATE NAPPY HAIR fame. Since I have been working with her again she has been hinting that I am having an affair with a married colleague of mine. He and I were in Brazil together so of course tongues started wagging.

The Crazy Told Me That She Breastfeeds Her Husband

Let me start from the very beginning. I was at work, minding my business (you know as you do.) This lady comes in. She is big fat and heavy (“Any sound test me tonight Dem ah go bury” remember that?) and very smiley too smiley really. A glazed over, not quite right smiley. I’ve seen her before though so I am not concerned. I remember her being slightly off key, but a lot of them are, that I run into daily.

You Birthed The Spawn Of Satan So Deal With It

This lady comes in to fill in an application form. She comes in with two kids. One is about 9, I’d say and the other about 5. She sits down at a table and starts filling an application form and puts the two boys on some other chairs nearby. She has her back to them. The littlest one is a terror. First he opens one of the doors and starts running down the corridor. The woman just turns and glares at the oldest one. Its a glare that she probably gives him every day. He knows what it means and he shoots after the little one. Taking hold of him forcibly as the terror is screaming and wailing at not being able to run free.

The Interviewer Told Me That Kenyans Are Savages

I’d seen this job advertised a few times before, and for that reason I was a bit wary about it. The first time I applied the job title and wage was slightly different but the job description was the same. The other thing that made me wary was the fact that it was a college specifically for International Students, i.e. a college that tries to extort as much money as possible and will take in anyone for that very purpose. There are no British or European Union Students because they are not going to pay out of the ass for somewhere that no one has heard of an is not recognized.

Another Job Interview Turned Disastrous

Fire Exit

I went for an interview and it went really well. I had a good rapport with the interviewers. It was very informal and laid back. When the interview ended I had a good feeling about it. Maybe THIS was THE job! As I left it was like I was walking on clouds. I was lightheaded and giddy. I walked down a corridor that lead off the room I had just been interviewed in, looking for the way out. I was slightly hot and in need of some fresh air. I saw a door nearby that looked like it lead outside. I pushed it open.

The Worst Job Interview Ever

Death By Powerpoint

It was an interview for International Representative at a private college. I was wary about going because when they invited me to interview the salary was less than advertised, plus it was commission based. Nevertheless when they called to offer me an interview I agreed to go. Part of the interview was for me to prepare a presentation. I’d been on two other interviews that month that I had really prepared for and not got the jobs, so in my smart way of thinking *CTFU* I thought let me do the presentation on PowerPoint and then try and improvise a little bit when it comes down to it on the day.

Racism In the Workplace

Black Man In Suit

Cackface and Neville were seated in the office. A discussion with regards to the need for Air Conditioning on London’s Buses was taking place. During the conversation Cackface made the comment, “I have noticed from being on the buses that black men really stink, they smell really bad.” He then turned to me and asked, “Don’t you think?” to which I replied, “No I don’t think that that is true at all.” He then turned to Neville and repeated the same question, “Don’t you think?” to which Neville replied, “No.”

Unruly Children Annoy Me

unruly child

You can see your child picking up everything and causing a RUCKUS. CONTROL YOUR KIDS BEHAVIOUR! Damnit! One little boy is walking around picking up everything and making a lot of noise. His mother is ignoring him and every now and then shouts, “stop it!” to which he replies “NO!” Or some other piece of rudeness that he feels fit to say to her. Why is he running around into chairs and tables and your irresponsible ass does not do a damn thing?

Bad Breath Like Hot Trashy Wind

Bad Breath

I am totally disgusted. This motherfucker just walked in here, itching his balls like he had crabs. He stopped momentarily and then right before he got to my desk and he grabbed them two times, heavy all encompassing tugs. Ugh! I feel sooooo sick.