Natural Hair Is Disgusting

Nappy Hair

A few minutes ago, a conversation between me and the woman without the gallstones took place. It’s like we can’t even talk anymore. Every conversation turns into her making some kind of ignorant statement.

Bleaching Cream Rots The Brain

skin bleaching

This bleached out woman just came in… Her face was so bleached and burnt that her lips had turned black and her skin was thin and with loads of dark blemishes, like she had been prodded a few times with a freshly lit cigarette. Her skin looked grey, not even brown… and definitely not light skinned which is the look I’m sure she was going for burning herself up like that.

I Chat Up a Man At Work Today

Dreadlocked

When he walked through the door I nearly had a heart attack. Tall, clear golden/bronzed skin, locks, eyes you could drown in and lips that could hypnotise. I was trying to compose myself and act normal but I must have come across as a lunatic He walked towards my desk, and I couldn’t stop giggling, so I tried to make it like I was laughing at something on my computer screen when in reality I wasn’t It was a nervous laughter I just couldn’t hold in.

She Asked Me If I Had A Plastic Bag

Plastic Bag

She asked a question and she got an answer, so why did the bitch not move? I am not one for repeating myself, but she forced me to, just standing over me with her beady eyes peering over her bottle glass frames. So I said, “Oh we haven’t had those plastic bags for years now.” Then she starts peering around as if I am lying at cupboards…

Mr Shaky Lip Returns With More Chocolates

Ferrero Prestige

I took my place at my desk and he started talking about courses and application forms. Then of course he had to ask about Kate, my dear colleague who has not been here for two years, “And how is my heartbeat?” I told him that she was fine, and kept it at that. After this he asked me what chocolates I liked and how he had tried to find the ones that he thought I would like but couldn’t find any. I told him Ferrero Rochers, and that they were available in any sweet shops, Supermarket or Woolworths etc. He said that he would find them, and as he left turned to me and said Fear Raych. Fear Raych what the hell is that?

Mr Shaky Lip

Russian Blonde

I’m sitting at work and this man who we used to call “shaky lip” comes in… So called because his lip is always shaking and if it’s not shaking he is biting it like someone with a bad drug habit…. He is an elderly black man from Guyana who often comes into the College to chit chat about nothing, or to apply for random courses. So he sits down talking for about half an hour about random things like how he wishes he was 23, his love for Russian blondes and the novel that he is working on.

Ying Yang Twins Whispering Is Sexy

Ying Yang Twins

Now ain’t that some shit! A seemingly decent young woman uttering such obscene language. This just shows that you can never judge a book by its cover. Behind seemingly innocent faces often lurk, a persona that goes weak at the knees on the appearance of unwashed dreadlocks, incoherent sentences and metallic breath. You learn something new every day. Acting as if you are illiterate, brandishing a mouth full of hot metal and “whispering” graphic sexual language as though you have emphysema and are high on crack is not sexy. Well not to me anyway, but apparently to Ruth it is.

The Portuguese is FLY!

White Shirt and Blue Jeans

Before he left he said to me, “You’re not working tommorrow, are you?” *heart palpitations* Was this a sign that he wants to ask me out? Or was he just asking so he knew when he could return the application form? I told him that No, we weren’t open on Saturday, so he would be best of returning later on today.

Getting Caught Having A Fag

So at work we have this new manager and she doesn’t like people going off to smoke in pairs despite there being 7 of us in the office (well when there is a full house anyway which is practically never!). We are entitled to two fifteen minute breaks a day plus lunch but yet every time you try and go off she gives a disapproving glare or tries to engineer some task so that you can’t go and smoke with someone else. This means that if you want to go and smoke with someone else in the office sneaky tactics are needed. This is usually done by one person passing through one door under the guise of going to fill a water bottle/collect mail/ using the lavatory, and another person passing through the other door under some other pretence.