Caught Red-Handed With An Out Of Date Travelcard

travelcard 1 300x196 Caught Red Handed With An Out Of Date Travelcard

Yeah my luck ran out (although I must say it didn’t last long at all.) Today I got caught with an out of date ticket on the train.

I got to the station this morning and since I have been late to work 50 percent of the time in the past month, I made the conscious decision not to queue for a ticket as it would have resulted in me missing the train and making me late again. I got on the train with my out of date ticket, hoping I could just flash my old one to get through, or even better flash nothing if there were no inspectors and then just buy a new valid one in the station.

Alas! T’was not meant to be.

I blame my own lazy ass. The train was packed and I spotted a seat in the back of the carriage which I plonked myself on. If I had stayed by the train doors, and stood for the 13 minute journey, I would have been one of the first ones off the train and thus in a more effective position to flash my out of date travelcard with better results, i.e. not getting caught.

Its funny the time I get caught is the time I have no nerves at all In fact I was quite confident that I would sail past the inspectors. I didn’t even think of any elaborate story, since I considered myself, after the last time a dab hand at fare dodging.

So I am walking up the stairs towards the inspectors and I am thinking that the odds of getting caught are higher than the last time. (If you want to read about the last time click HERE) The last time I did kind of get caught, but it was more of a confession of wrongdoing on my part than getting caught. I am thinking that if I do get caught, because there are so many people around they are not going to let me go without paying the penalty fare, because it would suggest to all the other commuters that the inspectors are soft touches and they wouldn’t want that.

I get to the inspector who is reprimanding another fellow dodger. Since he is somewhat distracted I boldly flash the ticket to his face and keep it moving.

I don’t get far. A loud and firm voice stops me in my tracks,

“Excuse me. Your ticket says 15th, it’s the 16th.”

I turn and reply,

“Huh?” trying to look baffled and confused.

“Your ticket has expired. You have to pay the £20 penalty fare.”

I try to look even more confused as if I don’t believe my ticket is out of date. I pull out my mobile phone as if to check the date on it and then gasp, as if to say that I can’t believe this could happen to me when it was such an innocent mistake. This guy does not give a toss. He takes great joy in collecting penalty fares It’s obvious. Perhaps the inspectors are having a competition? “Who can collect the most penalty fares?”

He is dealing with a woman and has me and another man put to the side while he deals with her. He is not going to be able to deal with all three of us and so nods to one of his colleagues to deal with me. I am relieved to be able to have another chance to try my act on someone else, and a man too. He takes me to the side,

“Why have you got an expired ticket? He asks gruffly.

“I didn’t even realize to be honest. I mean I always have a ticket. I buy it weekly. I can buy a new one now.”

“Ahhhh, so you want to renew?”

“Yes, yes! That’s what I want to do.”

“OK, you can do that.”

I gave him the money for the weekly pass and he gave me the ticket. I see the other woman has coughed up the £20 for the penalty fare, and the other man has his card to ready to pay.

I on the other hand have my valid travel card now and no £20 penalty fare!

Wooooohoooooo! Yes bitches I got caught but I still didn’t pay!!!


  1. nimd4 says:

    1. RUN 2. Don’t carry an ID (or, like, keep it hidden: until REAL cops appear :) ), so you don’t get booked..:) 3. If no. 2 doesn’t work, then 1., Run! xD

    Meh, good move; heheh. :$

  2. nimd4 says:

    P.P.S. Your “click HERE” link is broken?..

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