Chased Out Of My Apartment By A Cockroach


Sunday 15th December
I have been here for exactly a week now, although it feels like I got here yesterday. It had been a non stop whirl of partying, eating and drinking until Thursday. It was too sweet for there not to be a sour!

On Sunday night Mariana invited her two friends Victor and Ugo around to the apartment, and we hung out here.We then spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights in Pelourinho, where there are concerts and performances going on nightly.

It was funny because Mariana belongs to a travellers website called COUCHSURFING. On our way to Pelourinho on Tuesday we stopped off at the internet café and there was an email from this British Indian guy who wanted to meet up. She emailed him her number and then we left. When we got to Pelo we went into this hostel to get a sandwich. Afterwards I got to use the bathroom and Mariana is outside it.

I hear this guy approach her,

“Excuse me you look familiar…”

I knew straight away it was the guy she just emailed without even seeing him, and it was!!! We ended up going with them to the concert. One of the guys he was with said he was on a worldwide professional Frisbee tournament… At first I thought he was joking but then he did not laugh so I kept a straight face. Wow! I did not know there were people that played professional Frisbee… You learn something knew every day!

So skip to Wednesday night and Mariana stays over because we are planning to go to the beach the following day. I am feeling a little congested but I put it down to the air conditioning and so put open the windows and put the fan on for fresh air.

I wake up in the morning feeling like DEATH. There is no way I can go lie on a beach feeling like this. We leave the house straight away to go get some flu relief medicine from the Pharmacy. I pop pills all day in a bid to get knocked out and wake up to a sense of normalcy. Mariana goes home.

I lie in bed pretty much the whole day. It is about 9pm and I have just popped some of the pills and am drifting off when I see this big cockroach fucker approaching me from the bedroom door. I jump up and start screaming. The next thing I know it is on the bed. I jump off the bed and reach for the mosquito spray. At this point I am screaming and wailing, coughing, jumping and spraying and the fucker just will not die. It is still moving when the spray runs out! I slam the door, rip the scarf off my head and run out of the apartment.

cockroach 300x217 Chased Out Of My Apartment By A Cockroach

My phone has no credit so I cannot call anyone. The kiosk closest to the apartment is closed, so I head toward hos corner. There I find some credit for my phone and some cockroach spray. I go to the internet café while I think of my next step of action.

Remember the Rogue Trader? The one we got the apartment from last time? The guy that gave us the apartment with the wardrobe with no back? The guy that fought on the streets and was always with hookers?

He was online on MSN Messenger. He told me, “Congratulations on your Site”

Then he told me, “It was a very bad thing you did. Who did it?”

I was a bit confused. Then he said to me,

“Google my name.”

Of course I googled his name and all that shit I wrote about him with a big ass picture, a year ago now, came up!!! Ooooh plus the videos… he was not impressed at all. Anyway I took them down. I don’t want all the hos corner lunatics after me!

In the end my friend Eddy came and disposed of the cockroach for me. We also sprayed the place with the cockroach spray and then left to go and drink on the street around the corner. I only managed one drink before I had to go and lay my sick ass down!

So Thursday morning I am still sick as fuck, writhing around on the bed amongst my bogey tissues when my friend Alex says he is nearby. So I get up, shower, dress and we go to eat at this place where its eat all you want for 9 Reias. I am on my last bit of money so he takes me to HSBC bank to go and restock. The bank will not give me any money, so we try two other machines, but NO JOY.

We go to Banco Do Brasil and CitiBank and the same thing happens. I figure the bank must have blocked my card, so on my last 20 something Reais I have to call the bank in England at this telephone booth at the internet place. It is 2.67 per minute to call the UK. Its payday Friday before Christmas, who even knows how long they will have me on hold? I manage to get through and they put me on hold twice. I figure if I cannot pay for the phone call in its entirety what is the worst that can happen? At least if I complete the call and get the card unblocked then there will be the money available at some point! I get through the call in 8 minutes and I have enough money to pay for it so its all gravy!

Its Saturday and I still feel a little fluey although much better than I was before. Gonna go to the beach in a little while…

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