Coming Out As Bisexual On An Amsterdam Back Street

Raising The Gay Flag 216x300 Coming Out As Bisexual On An Amsterdam Back Street

Last year my friend Gary decides he is coming to Europe with a friend, but he is not coming to London as he had promised. He is going to France and Holland over a two week period. He asks me to come and meet them somewhere. I didn’t have many holiday days left from work and so told him I’d come for the weekend, whilst they are in Holland. The plan is that I am going to leave on the Friday straight from work get a cab to his Amsterdam hotel from the airport in Amsterdam and then leave on Monday morning, early, the same time that they are leaving to go back to Chicago and go straight in to work from Heathrow.

So Friday morning comes and I can’t find my passport. I get into work two hours late due to looking for that bitch and with a killer hangover too. I make it through the day get to the airport in one piece and arrive in Amsterdam in the evening at around 7pm or so. When I get there I call Gary’s Amsterdam hotel so he knows that I am about to get a cab and will be there soon. When he picks up the phone he sounds a bit strange kind of distant. It’s like something is bothering him. At one point there is a long pause. Gary says to me,

“Can I ask you something?”

My mind is racing and I can’t pinpoint any of the thoughts that I was thinking, but I knew his voice sounded serious My heart was beating fast. I don’t know what I thought he was going to tell or ask me but it just didn’t sound good. When I heard the questionoh boy was I relieved,

“Do you mind going to a gay club tonight?”

IS THAT ALL? Man I was relieved. I replied,

“No why?”

“Oh cos my boy, he’s gay and he wanted to go to a gay club.”

I told him that that was fine and that he should meet me outside the hotel shortly as I was on my way. I get to the hotel and wait outside for Gary to come and get me when I tell you it was freezing it was bloody FREEZING. The 15 minutes that he took to come and get me felt like a lifetime!

So he finally arrives and we go up to the room He knocks the door so his friend can open it and my my my! What I saw before me! The prettiest looking boy that I have ever seen Gorgeous! Gorgeous! Gorgeous! Pouty lips, thick eyebrows, honey smooth skin and miserable as fuck too. He opened the door with a scowl on his face didn’t say a word and just turned away as quickly as the door was opened. Considering that Gary’s friend was American his clothing seemed very “gay.” Or some might say “European.” He was wearing some tight tight black trousers and a tight see throughish long sleeved T-shirt top and some shiny black shoes. He also had the Ginuwine curl thing going on with the hair.

Gary and I entered the room and sat down on the bed whilst his friend sat on a chair with his back to us facing the window, scowling. He appeared to be pissed off about something. I assumed that they must have had an argument. You could cut the tension with a hacksaw. It was uncomfortable and as tired and hungover as I was I was more than happy to just lay down right there and then and sleep. I told Gary this and it didn’t go down well at all. He insisted over and over again that I come out with them and so I gave in. As I began to unpack my case, Gary and Jay went down to the hotel restaurant to get something to eat and give me time to get ready. Whilst alone in the room I began to wonder about Jay’s attitude towards me. Could they be a couple and my presence there causing the resentment from him?

In the next hour or so I was ready and Gary and Jay had returned. Jay was in a better mood but not by much. We left the hotel and headed towards the tram stop that would take us to the city Centre and the general vicinity of the club that they had wanted to go to. On the tram Jay seemed to warm up to me, as we did renditions of Old Tupac songs and cracked jokes about getting Gary fukked up on some hash cake. The journey was about 20 minutes. When we got off the tram Jay lead the way, walking way ahead of us and talking to random guys about clubs to go to etc. Watching him flirting with various young men and chatting it up made me think that him and Gary couldn’t be a couple because if they were he wouldn’t be doing all that would he?

Whilst Gary and I trailed behind Jay he stopped abruptly and pulled me to the side of the road,

“I have something to tell you.”

He paused and it was like I just knew what he was going to say. I blurted out,

“You’re gay.”


“Yes you are”

“No (Pause) What I was going to tell you is that Jay and I are (Long pause)”

I interrupted again,

“Going out ? He’s your boyfriend?”

“Well yeah, kind of.”

“So that means you’re gay doesn’t it?

“No, I’m bisexual actually.”

When he said the word “bisexual” his voice dropped to a whisper. Finding out wasn’t really a shock, but I was surprised that he would invite me to Amsterdam knowing full well he was going with his boyfriend and not think to tell me, instead passing him off as a “friend.” In my mind it would have made sense for him to tell me before I came. Now I was crashing their romantic holiday and going to be sharing a bed with them to top it off!


  1. [...] Part 1 - I’m Not Gay Though Part 2 – I’m Bisexual Actually [...]

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