Forgetting To Pay For Goods At Lisbon Airport

  Sandwichandcoffee 300x167 Forgetting To Pay For Goods At Lisbon Airport

First of all I’d like to say that I didn’t mean it. It just happened. It was not my intention.

Check in was quick and I headed towards the gates. Because the flight was later than was printed on my ticket by a whole hour I had even more time to kill. I found a café and stopped for a nibble and to read ma book. Ordering was an exact precision skill as I had only 5 euros 50 left, and I didn’t want the embarrassment of over ordering and not having the cash to pay for it.

My order came up to 5.40… perfect. I ate, drank and sat there reading for about an hour and a half. At that point I figured that it was time to head to the gates so I picked up my coat and rucksack and got to stepping.

As I passed through passport control I remembered,


I turned back around to see if anyone was coming after me, and all I could see were No Entry signs from where I had just come from, put there to control passenger flow and prevent any back and forth behaviour I suppose. Since there was no flurry of security walking after me I just kept going. A few minutes into my walk I started to panic, imaging all sorts of things, the most pervasive thought being,


I stopped at a food and drink stand and tried to explain to the woman behind it that I needed to get back to the café from where I had just come from because I forgot to pay. She shrugged her shoulders and giggled, as though I had just told her a joke. I continued on towards the gate again and then got a niggling feeling,


I then decided that I was going to find the café and pay the money by hook or by crook. I approached another airport worker who told me to go down some stairs and walk some other way and then back up some stairs. I followed her directions and ended up not having a clue where I was. If I had turned right back as I passed through Passport Control it would have been very simple, now the shit had got complicated.

I approached 2 police officers and explained the situation. They asked me which café I was talking about. Since I was not even near it any more I didn’t know which café. It seemed like no one wanted to help me get the 5 Euro something off my chest. I was ready to give up and so I turned back from where I had just come from and had to go through the metal detectors and “Do you have any liquids?” questions all over again. Of course I didn’t have any liquids because they had already been snatched on my first time going through.

So I sit here recanting this on a hard metal seat at Lisbon airport, my heart thumping violently anytime someone with a uniform, fluorescent vest, or walkie talkie walks past (these are all sign of officialdom or authority and may be looking to capture me)

I hope that if before I get on this plane I am apprehended, they will read my notebook (someone who speaks English hopefully) and realise that I DIDN’T MEAN IT. I tried to pay. I really did.


I sat on the plane for almost 2 hours and it didn’t move. My initial joy at boarding the plane and having the doors shut soon turned into panic again for I started to think that perhaps the plane was being stalled to call in for back up to come and apprehend me.

It turns out that that wasn’t the case. Apparently there were two extra bags in the hold that shouldn’t have been there, so these motherfuckers had to unload every single bag, find these stray bags and then reload all the bags. What is up with that? That is efficiency for you! I wonder what happened to this efficiency when my bag was missing for 10 freaking days?

After this whole wahala the plane had missed its “slot” to leave so we had to stay put and wait until given the go ahead by air control. The go ahead came and then there was another problem in that France air control were not going to allow us to fly over their space. Drama! This kept us grounded for a while and it was three hours after boarding that the plane finally started flying, having to fly a route that didn’t involve France!


  1. Gordy says:


    I find that your adventures are always filled with some crazy twist – which is always so great to read. If I ever go on holiday I am happy to know that you have probably had a worse experience than me.

    Did you try and send the 5 Euro 40 to the restaurant when you got back to the UK? You could have tried to look up a layout of the airport which will probably list all the shops and cafe’s. Hopefully, your face will not be plastered in the cafe when you next return to Portugal…Hmmm I wonder if they have a Portuguese Crime stoppers – and if you are now featured on this LOL!!

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