Gay And In Denial

Gay Black Men 300x300 Gay And In Denial

A few years ago I went to see my friend in Chicago for a long weekend.

I had always had a feeling that he was a gay man, but there was nothing in particular to indicate this. He would always talk about females, but it was always in reference to their intelligence rather than anything more (not that there is anything wrong with that). So anyway he came with a friend to pick me up from the airport and we went back to his house. When I walked into his house his mama was like, “Oh my baby brought me home a beautiful girl.” She was really welcoming and was gushing over me. The attention was nice, meanwhile my friend just looked embarrassed.

That evening we were going to go out but I wanted to rest and get spruced up first so my friend (Gary) went out to the supermarket with the friend that he had brought to the airport to meet me Sherman. I lay down for about an hour and then started to get ready. After about another hour or so I was ready and Gary and Sherman were nowhere to be seen, so I lay down again and waited. After about another hour Gary returned without Sherman. When I asked why they had taken so long, he said that they had got into an argument. Yeah a 3 hour bloody argument!

So that night I went to a club with Gary and his friend Candy. It was a mixed pop music kinda club. At one point we were standing at the bar and a guy comes over and starts talking to us, then he specifically starts talking to Gary. I can’t hear what they are saying, but after about 15 minutes Gary turns to me and says,

“That guy wants to buy me a drink, do you think I should let him?”

“Well if you want to It’s up to you?”

“Well I don’t want him thinking I’m gay.”

At this point I’m thinking that he must be gay and not know it yet because the guy is flirting with him and whispering in his ears, and he seems quite receptive and in my eyes straight men generally don’t do all that. So the guy buys him a drink and hangs around for a bit, then when the guy leaves he tells us that the guy had asked him about what the girls are like on his part of town, then had gone on to offer to suck his dick, adding on to that,

 ”I’m not gay though.”

I was like,

“Well he must be gay or why would he want to suck a dick.”

Gary shrugged his shoulders and laughed, as if he found the whole thing simply hilarious. That wasn’t the only guy that bought him drinks. Another guy who reckoned he played basketball in Ecuador came and started talking to me and then started buying him drinks too!

After the club we went to IHOP, to meet up with Sherman. (I guess they had made up) the first thing that struck me about the IHOP was that it was very Gay. I know you may be wondering how can an IHOP be gay? But it just felt like it. The majority of the staff were either very feminine men or very masculine woman then a lot of the diners were clearly in same sex romantic couples, and at the entrance in the parking lot a couple of men were groping each other and making out. When I asked Gary if it was “The Gay IHOP” he looked at me as if I was crazy! When we got inside Gary and Sherman were bickering like an old married couple, and kind of flirting. It was just so gay. He always said he liked women though so I wasn’t quite sure what to make out of the whole thing.

The next morning we were talking and Gary told me how he met Sherman on the internet through Blackplanet, but he doesn’t tell people that because it sounds gay. I told him it was kind of gay. He said they just started talking about common interests and then met up and became really good friends. Then he tells me that he is in love with this girl and how when he went to the girl’s house he found out that the girl was seeing one of his cousins and how has been devastated by it ever since. At the time I was starting to think that he was gay but the the “in love with a girl” spiel threw me off. He managed to convince me that he was “in love” with a girl. I then asked to see his Blackplanet page. I went to the computer and started to type Blackplanet into the address bar. After typing the first few letters, came up. (You know when you type in the first few letters and websites previously visited comes up) I actually didn’t think anything of it, until he started trying to explain himself,

“I can’t believe my roommates, when I used to go out they used to use my computer, such assholes!”

He had told me his former roommates (he had just moved back home) were white heterosexual males, who were racists to top it off, so this made me a bit suspicious. It was only then that I started thinking was some sort of gay site, beforehand it hadn’t even registered It could have been an advice website for black men, or a magazine anything, but his reaction told me it was a gay site. I questioned him,

“But why would they want to go to a website for black men if they are white racists?

He told me that he had suspicions that one of them was gay and probably attracted to black men. What a load of bloody baloney. I just left it as that.

Later on that day he made a joke about drinking cum (gross I know) so this gave me the opportunity to just outright ask him if he was gay. I asked and he gave me a look of disgust, like the idea was completely abhorrent to him. He asked me why I would think “such a thing.” And I told him because he finds jokes about drinking cum funny and he completely brushed the idea off. After this I wasn’t entirely sure of what to think. I thought that maybe he hadn’t “realised” and come to terms with him being gay, because he surely did seem gay. Even after I asked him and he had given me a definite NO we went to the mall and I pointed out a guy that I thought was FINE and he was like,

 ”c’mon now he’s gay.”

I said,

 ”and how would you know?”

He told me the guy just looked gay.

However he must have known I had my suspicions about his sexuality because he started talking about girls a lot and started playing gospel music in the car loudly ALL THE TIME! Then on Saturday night he asks me if I want to go to church. Gary does not usually go to church, so I found it a bit odd that I ask him if he is Gay and he becomes a religious fanatic all of a sudden. I asked him why I a non-Christian would have the sudden desire to go to church. He has no answer so that idea is scratched and none of us go to church on that Sunday. Instead we go to his cousin’s house his gay cousin’s house.

The cousin is in the front room with a bunch of his friends. Apparently they are all gay. They are all sitting around in du-rags and timbs and drinking beer. It would have never crossed my mind that any of them were gay if Gary hadn’t told me. We hang out there for about an hour or so before we leave. When we get in the car Gary tells me that he doesn’t talk to his cousin that much because he doesn’t approve of his lifestyle. I asked him what he meant and he said that he felt him being gay was wrong and he didn’t like it. I was a bit baffled considering the fact that just the other day he was getting bought drinks by men in a club and flirting with them too. I decided that he must be confused. The look I gave him must have told him that I was baffled about what he was saying because he immediately started blasting the gospel music!

I left Chicago the next day and Gary promised that he would come and visit me in London. In part 2 I’ll let you know what happened next.


  1. Jmac823200 says:

    This is too funny!


  1. [...] 1 - I’m Not Gay Though Part 2 – I’m Bisexual [...]

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