Hassan The Burgular – East London Dodgy Dealings

Throw Computer 254x300 Hassan The Burgular – East London Dodgy DealingsAugust 17th 2006

East London dodgy dealings

So I got a leaflet though my door. It said:










At the bottom of the leaflet there was an address, a home telephone number and two mobile phone numbers. So a few days ago I called one of the mobile numbers. The guy seemed to be in a rush to get me off the phone. I was trying to explain the situation to him and he cut in — “What’s your address.” I paused because I didn’t know whether to give it to him or not. So I gave him an address, but not the full address. As soon as he had the address he said,

“Well if I’ve got time I’ll come round in a few hours.”

I replied,

“I’m not at home, I’ll call back later when I’m home.”

That was that I didn’t bother calling back. Something didn’t seem right.

Anyway that was then. So this morning I’m sitting at my desk at work thinking about my shitty computer at home and I come across the leaflet in a drawer. So what did I do yes I called them again.

This time I thought I would try the home telephone number to see if this was really a legitimate operation.





-         Hello (A half asleep old sounding lady picks up the phone)

-         Hi I’m calling with regards to a leaflet I received through my letter box about computer repair.

-         Huh?

-         Computer repair. (Now I am thinking that this must be a wrong number then I look at the email address and the name Hassan is included in it)

-         Hassan?

-         Ooooooooh Hassan


There is a lot of scuffling, calling Hassan, and talking in a language a do not understand. Finally Hassan comes to the phone.

-         Yeah hello

-         Hi I’m enquiring about computer repair. I got your number through a lea-(he interrupts)

-         What’s your address?

Hold up! How about, What’s your name? What’s the problem? Telephone number? So I disregard the address question and start talking about what the problem is with the computer. All he cares about it the frigging address, so I tell him the same address that I told him last time.

-         All right then we will come round in an hour

-         I won’t be there in an hour (“I got a job bitch!” that’s what I wanted to say)

-         Oh, when will you be there?

-         About 6 or so

-         Ok we’ll come around then

-         Can you tell me what kind of price I’m looking at?

-         When we come round and check it out we’ll be able to tell you.

-         Oh ok.

This computer shit is getting on my nerves. The leaflet really caught my eye because of the pick up and drop service, but now my colleague at work is saying that they are probably burglars taking down people’s addresses to clock when they aren’t going to be in so that they can go and rob them. Luckily I didn’t give them the exact address. After the conversation I started thinking these guys could come out and demand whatever money they want and then if I were to tell them that it were too expensive they could get heavy with me as there would be more than one of them.

I think I’m gonna throw my computer away tonight

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