I Love Licking Plates And Bowls – So What?

White Bowl 300x225 I Love Licking Plates And Bowls – So What?Wednesday, December 06, 2006

1 minimalist chic white china bowl…

 Vanilla Haagen Daaz 300x161 I Love Licking Plates And Bowls – So What?

2 scoops of deliciously rich vanilla ice cream…

 sticky toffee pudding 300x253 I Love Licking Plates And Bowls – So What?

1 helping of sticky toffee pudding…

EQUALS A BLOODY GOOD BOWL LICKING!

Am I the only one that licks a freakin plate (or bowl) from time to time after a bloody good meal?

Sometimes when I am in doubt about licking a plate, I take time to think about the situation that I find myself in; after all I don’t need to lick a plate. If  I want more food I can have more food. I am not in bootcamp where food is rationed, I am not starving. I tell myself, “no don’t do it” but then I flashback to a picture that was taken Christmas 1987. The reason this picture sticks in my head is that my brother has claimed ownership of it and likes to bring it out every time I see him to remind me of where I “came from.”

In this picture I am 7 going on 8 and he is 5. It is Christmas Day and I am wearing my pink “ballgown” from my 6th birthday. He is next to me looking lost as he usually looks in pictures at that age. I visibly have two teeth missing and am taking a breather in the midst of a licking a plate. I am so happy in this picture. Maybe that is why when I am in two minds about licking a plate I just go ahead and do it because plate licking is “where I came from,” a long lived tradition some might say.

Not too long ago I sent out a bulletin about the fact that I had just licked a plate. I was pumped full of endorphins and wanted to share the joy. It was just after eating sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream. Can you blame me? I mistakenly thought that there would be others that would empathise and we would share plate licking experiences. WRONG. I know this is behaviour that is unacceptable in public, but it is behaviour that I figured a few people indulge in when noone is watching, like picking your nose or prising a wedgie from your buttcheeks, and even then picking your nose with a bare finger is definitely the worst crime in my opinion. I could deal with someone licking a plate in front of me but certainly not picking their nose.

Nose picking is one of those activities that should always be private, no matter what. When I see people picking their noses on public transport it makes me recoil in horror, especially if they are within arms length. This is because I know what the next stage is; the roll and flick. As soon as I see the index finger and thumb join forces I clamber for my belongings and start making moves to get out of flicking distance, because after the rolling of the bogey comes the flicking of the bogey… and I will not have someone’s mucous and dust ball fly in my eye or land on my clothing. Technically the bogey ball is not going to damage me physically, but mentally that is a whole heap of torture that I am not ready to deal with.

I went off on a tangent…I apologise… now back to the bulletin I sent out about licking a plate. Not ONE person that replied to this bulletin confessed to doing the same thing. A few laughed, some called me crazy and then there were those that said it was disgusting. All the ones that said I was nasty, disgusting, or unladylike I wrote back to and asked if they had ever in their life licked a plate. It was a resounding and absolute NO. I couldn’t believe it. I felt like a freak.

I mean why should I be made to feel this way? I’m a very tidy plate licker. I don’t get stuff all over my hands and face like this guy here:

 messy eater 300x224 I Love Licking Plates And Bowls – So What?

By contrast I like to keep my hands clean. I still have full concentration. It’s just more like this:

 Clean Licking 224x300 I Love Licking Plates And Bowls – So What?

And if I had kids I would certainly not allow this:

 Messy Child 300x279 I Love Licking Plates And Bowls – So What?

So why is it such a big deal? I’m a plate licker and what?

Like my girl Pooquisha says if you don’t like it then go to www.idontgiveafuck.com and tell somebody.

So tell me are you a plate licker?

And if you have never licked a plate, what could push you into licking one?

Comments

  1. I NEVER KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME!!I FEEL SO FREE LIKE I HAVE BEEN DRAGGING A HUGE LOAD ALL MY LIFE, FEARING DISCOVERY …………. i am an occasional plate licker, i am sure i would have been an obsessive plate licker but for the fact that i licked a plate in public once when i was 4 or so.. (a friend’s bday party in view of everybody, like you, i wasnt hungry; i didnt want seconds, it was just my way of saluting the good meal i just had) and was adequately disgraced by every body, till this day my sister or mum brings it up, i just roll myself in a ball of shame, turn mute and go hide; i even had nightmares of bringing home my future husband only to have my family regale him with tales of my embarrassing past………………………UNTIL NOW!….i think lol

    • MsBeautySoul says:

      LMAOOOOOOO @ “adequately disgraced” too funny. Have no fear When in disgrace DENY DENY DENY…
      I still lick plate occasionally but only in front of those that are as gluttonous as I am!

  2. Ha! I've NEVER licked a plate and never intend to do so in my life! To be honest if I was at a restaurant/bar/pub and saw a fellow customer licking a plate I would probably avoid that establishment for the rest of my life, for fear of having my food on that very plate!

  3. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Not even a Haagen Daaz container or a yoghurt pot??? Please say it ain't so. If not you need to try it.. It is hugely gratifying in a very strange way!

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