I Watched This Programme On TV About Revenge

revenge 300x203 I Watched This Programme On TV About RevengeSaturday, February 10, 2007

REVENGE… How far would you go?

Yesterday I watched this programme on Five Live called:

“Getting revenge on the ex”

There were 5 cases:

1) Woman was in her mid to late thirties had two children with a man and they were together for 8 years. One day he just upped and left to his mother’s house without explanation, although she does acknowledge that they did have problems before hand. This woman seemed really nutty to me. She basically began stalking him for 2 years (although she does not refer to her actions as stalking) She stood outside his mama’s house with a megaphone and would shout for him to come out and give her answers. She said she wanted closure.

Not only would she go to his mamas house, she would go to his local pubs and clubs with the megaphone, causing a scene. she said that she got a buzz from seeing him looking mashed up with bags under his eyes because it meant her plan was wearing him down. To top it off when she did all this shit she would take her two young children with her. She would pack them into the car with sleeping bags and pack lunches ready to be camped out all night. If he would try and get in his car and drive off a high speed chase would follow. In the documentary she said that she could feel that she was losing her mind, but to this day she thinks that it was worth it because now the dude is on speaking terms with her although she never got her “answers”

I think this woman is “touched.” Who has 2 years to spend chasing after someone? Ok you want answers but ultimately all you need to know is that his ass doesn’t want you. Who cares about exact details. I think this would be funny if she did it for a few days, but two years constant harrassment lets everyone know why he wanted to leave her ass.

2) This lady was in her late fifties/early sixties. Her husband was acting shady and she suspected him of having an affair. Turns out she was right as was discovered when she found a sexy card from another woman in her husband’s desk draw (duh! Why’d he put it there?) She confronted him and he seemed relieved that he had found out. He said, “Its all over now.” He then went to go and talk to the other woman and didn’t come back. She said she realised he wasn’t coming home because he missed their favourite radio programme, so she called him. He told her on the phone that he was staying with the other woman and then his wife saw red and decided to expose his “dirty secret.”

Apparently her husband was fond of wearing women’s panties, so she thought she would let everyone know. She took all his panties and made a washing line display where she put large posters up that said “Goodbye to your dirty knickers.”

I thought this was the most stupid revenge story ever, as she hung the washing line outside her own house and then stood out there with it. He doesn’t live there anymore so why would he care? Plus you are gonna get known as the woman that went out with the transvestite, making you look stupid rather than him. It would have been better if she did the display outside of his new chicks house.

3) This woman was in her early twenties and had been living with this guy for two years. She had just had a baby and when he finally came to the hospital he just was not interested in the child at all, would not pick the child up or even look at it. The woman decided that he was a loser and decided to finish it and move back to her parent’s house. A few days after moving out of the hospital and into her parent’s house she went back to his to pick up her stuff and another woman had already moved in, so she went to the bathroom and peed in some lotion and cleaned the toilet bowl with both their tootbrushes.

This revenge is alright but only if they notice, if they don’t then it really doesn’t make a difference. It is so much better for someone to smear lotion all over their bodies and THEN realise that it is mixed with urine, rather than not notice.

4) This lady was late thrities and basically her best friend ran off with her husband. She had three kids with him and they had been together since forever. He moved out one day and she only found out through the grapevine that he was living with this “best friend” months later. She went down there and beat her “best friend” up. She was even more pissed as the best friend showed no remorse and on the contrary was rather smug. When she got back home she set about making posters with pcitures of both of them saying “WANTED FOR ADULTERY” and plastered them all over the small town where her exes were living.

This one is ok, except I can imagine you would get arrested. It is good in that they get humiliated (the small town factor) and once it’s done it’s done. It is not something that is ongoing that will turn you crazy like the megaphone lady.

5)This man (late thrities) was seeing this woman and she broke up with him and started seeing another man. His ex had a kid with this other man. For six years he was harrassing them. He would find out their telephone numbers despite them always being changed and send things to the house to scare her. She had also moved a few times in the six years. Six years after they had split he sends a hitman to where they lived and shoots the new boyfriend in the face. They pin it down to the ex and he gets 16 years.

I thought this was the worst story of all. How does someone consume you for 6 years, to the point where they have set up home with someone else and you still feel the need to go and kill their new boyfriend as a way back in? Crazy!


This got me thinking about the craziest things I have done for revenge. Compared to these ladies I am quite lame, but in saying that maybe if I was shacked up with a dude for a decade, had a tribe of kids for him and then he upped and left without a word I would lose my mind too.

When I think back to my “revenge stories” I must say I was quite sane and all my bad behaviour was triggered by peer pressure (too many crazy chicks around me) Plus when I think back on it none of the guys did anything majorly bad to me, they just weren’t interested any more. Plus I haven’t done anything like this in over 8 years.

I remember there was this guy who was interested at first and then lost interest. When I would call there would always be an excuse where he had to get off the phone in a rush or he would tell whoever answered to say he wasn’t in after they asked who it was. The last straw was when I called and less than 30 seconds into the conversation he told me he had to go because his “toast is burning.” My friend had been listening into the conversation (for moral support with her ear pressed up against the reciever) and decided that enough was enough. “He needs payback” she said.

We started composing these letters to send to scare him from the “PHANTOM LADY.” I would write all this crap sounding stalkerish, half of it in cut out newspaper letters, spray it with perfume and a big red lipstick lip print and sign in at the bottom, PHANTOM LADY. I don’t even know what the point was supposed to be now I look back. We would also get my brother to make funny phonecalls to him and every other guy we felt was not acting right. These phonecalls ranged from my brother acting gay and coming onto the guys, to threatning to beat them up or burn down their houses. Most of the times the phonecalls were disastrous because we would be trying to hold the laughter in so much, that at most times one of us would explode with laughter and then the victim knew it was a joke.

I remember one time this same girl that enouraged all this revenge behaviour got dumped for her best friend. She was pissed because the best friend introduced her to the dude. It was majorly distressing to her at the time, but looking back it was quite stupid because she barely even saw this guy because she was never allowed out. These were school days and she saw him every few weeks and talked on the phone every saturday, whereas the best friend was always out and gallavanting.

When she found out that the best friend stole her man she was livid. That weekend we spent collecting prostitute cards from phone boxes in central London and recreating new ones with her name and telephone number all over them. It was a huge operation. We spent the whole weekend printing and photocopying and cutting. The plan was that she would bunk of school (I was on break) and we would set of at 8am and hang these callgirl cards all over london. We did that indeed. It was a full day’s work. We never got to find out how it went because they never got back on speaking terms. I think that that was probably the worst thing I ever did. They probably had to change their phone number.

What’s the worst revenge story you have ever heard? Be it your own or someone elses?

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