Insects Are Only Good For Crushing

giant house spider 300x300 Insects Are Only Good For Crushing

Why do people never wanna kill the freaking animals?

Today at work there was this cock-a-roach looking flying thing that was hovering about, which ended up dilly dallying about in the plastic thing that encases the fluorescent light that hums above my head. It then started making a nuisance of itself by hanging on the window sill. The temp was saying that the animal was on the sill, so I said to him,

“What the hell are you waiting for? KILL IT!”

He said, that no he can’t do that. What in the hell? What is wrong with people?

He claimed it was a bee (yeah a cock-a-roach looking bee, and all the more reason to KILL it!) and starts gently trying to coax it outside. I was silently hoping the beast would grow a huge pair of fangs and just attack him savagely, and then he would know to take my advice. Unfortunately no such thing happened.

Ruth is just the same. In Portugal there was this spider in the hotel room. I immediately shouted,

“KILL IT!!!”

And she refused claiming,

“They bite! They have fangs.”

I swear this spider can’t have been more than a few millimetres in diameter. I was like,

“Fuck fangs! I’m gonna kill it,” and launched myself at it.

She defended this measly spider and spent a good ten minutes trying to usher it out of the room. I don’t play with insects. If one comes near me it’s gonna get squashed. I don’t have time to be ushering anything out of a door or window only for it to come back… Hell no!

MOVING ON… Today on the radio the host was talking about when you first realised you were disgusted in the “animalistic” behaviour of the human species, not in the “heavy” sense like paeodophilia etc, that presumably EVERYBODY would be disgusted by but lighter stuff and he used Primark as an example. He said that on the weeked he passed by a Primark store and was shocked at the way people were behaving over the cheap clothes, just tossing stuff all over the place and attacking the clothes like vultures.

For those that don’t know Primark is a budget clothing retailer. Their clothes are super cheap. When you go on an away trip you can get Pay As You Go knickers for 50p each. You can get swimwear for £3 a piece. That is how cheap it is.

So this got me thinking to my first experience of being disgusted the “animalistic” behaviour of the human species. I remember it vividly. I was about 17 and I went food shopping with my mother in Netto in Peckham, London. It was my first time going there and I wasn’t aware of what kind of a shop it was. (I hadn’t been to Lidl then either)

Just in case you don’t know Netto and Lidl are the Primarks of the supermarket world. Most of the food labelling is not in English, so a lot of the time you have to kind of guess what you are getting, but it is dirt cheap and they do the smooth green avocados for 39p each as opposed to other supermarkets which sell them for closer to £1 each.

So anyway back to the story. I walked into Netto and I was shocked first at the look of the place. It looked like a warehouse where they were storing the food, not a supermarket. The layout was random and there were no special presentation displays a la Sainsbury’s or Tesco’s. The aisles were cramped and nothing looked appealing. I was horrified that my mother could grace such a place, even if for only a few items. I wanted to wait in the car but she wouldn’t give me the car key, and I didn’t want to hang in the carpark with the shouting psycho car park attendant, so I trudged around with her.

The scene that really tainted my experience at Netto that day was an elderly Jamaican woman and an elderly cockney man fighting over a loaf of bread. Both were clutching at either end of the bread and slinging insults at each other. I was truly dumbfounded; over a freakin loaf of bread that was probably squashed and demolished by all the tugging back and forth. I looked to me mother to read her face. She did not seem shocked. She was probably used to it. I promised myself that I would never set foot in that store again, and I stuck to it… I have, however become a regular at Lidl!

What was your first experience like this in being in disgusted with human being’s “animalistic” behaviour?

MOVING ON again… Let me tell you about the embarrassment that I suffered at work today (Gawd that sounds so Nollywood!). This man kept calling up asking me these questions I couldn’t answer, so when I said I would take down his number, find out the information and call him back he hung up on me. Five minutes later he calls back asking the same damn thing. I was just pissed off. He didn’t want to get off the line, and wouldn’t accept anything that I told him. How can I answer something that I do not know? All I can do is refer you or find out and get back to you. This fool was not satisfied with anything. So he says to me,

“Put me through to Pete Mark, that is who I spoke to before and he would know.”

I would have just put him through to switch board ordinarily but because he was blowing a gasket, I looked up the number in the directory and there was no Pete Mark listed. Just my luck. The temp opposite me was on the phone, so I couldn’t ask him if he had heard of a Pete Mark, so I asked the receptionist and he was just as baffled as to who Pete Mark is. My boss then enters the room and I ask her if she knows who Pete Mark is, and she looks at me like I am crazy,

“He’s right in front of you.”

Stupid me was still like,

 ”HUH?”

Then when I realised that the temp was Pete Mark I felt so stupid!!! I knew his name was Peter, but it just didn’t register that he was Pete Mark. I was so embarrassed. It must have looked like I didn’t know his name!!!

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