Jesus' Wife Came To Holla At Me With A Red Weave And Pink Plastic Shoes

RED WEAVE 200x300 Jesus' Wife Came To Holla At Me With A Red Weave And Pink Plastic ShoesSeptember 1st 2006

She came in again.


I saw her big face peering through the window, and didn’t recognise her immediately as she was wearing a huuuuuge red weave and pink ensemble. As soon as she caught sight of me she immediately began waving her grubby oversized mitts at me and bellowed through the door,

“Allo darlin’”

As soon as I realised it was Jesus’ wife I made a run for it, hissing at the woman without the gallstones,

“It’s the titty woman. I’m not dealing with her.”

I made my way to the office opposite and parked my ass there. After about ten minutes a colleague of mine went in there to go and see if she was still there and to try and get rid of her. When she came back she told me,

“She’s not gonna leave. She’s waiting for you.”

I asked her why WWGS hadn’t taken care of her and she replied,

“I don’t know but she is sitting at your desk.”

The next thing I know WWGS comes into the office I was in and asks me why I had left as the woman was waiting for me. I told her that I didn’t want to deal with her and could she. She agreed.

Another fifteen minutes and the news must have got back to my manager because she comes to my hideout and asks me what is wrong. I tell her that I don’t want to deal with the woman and she tells me that if the woman does not leave in the next ten minutes she will get security to deal with her.

Of course she doesn’t leave, because she has no intention of leaving and so security go and “move” her. The office where I was camping out at has an open front window so that people can be dealt with. Why did I see that big faced fat streaker at the window of my hideout? What the hell??? So much for being removed.  I quickly spun around on the chair so she couldnt see me. I can hear her arguing with the female member of  staff at the window. She is banging on about her husband (Jesus) coming to sort this woman out for not doing as she is requesting. What a palaver!

I decide to go outside and smoke a fag. I don’t have time for all this. Is this what I live for? To come to work and deal with this?

When I get back to my office the woman with the gallstones asks me why I didn’t just deal with the woman. Why in the hell should I have to? I was left alone with that big fat wench flashing her jugs at me. Why should I relive the freaking ordeal?




I went to the canteen to get a glass of water. The wench had taken the red wig off and was lying spread-eagled and bald-headed on the grass next to the canteen surrounded by the butts of the packet of fags she had just smoked. I told my boss and she told me to leave the woman alone.

Am I wrong for not wanting to talk to her?

Am I wrong for wishing they would just remove her?

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