Overdosing on Iron By Way Of Excessive Spinach Consumption

Spinach 300x225 Overdosing on Iron By Way Of Excessive Spinach ConsumptionSaturday, November 25, 2006

So in the last blog I told you all about these hateful motherfuckers that I have to deal with on a day to day basis. Today I brought in lunch of sweet potato, spinach, mushroom, and tomato. I was sitting there eating it and doing a crossword when the woman that made some stupid comment that last time said, 

“Dunno what you’re eating all that spinach for, you are only going to overdose on iron.” 

I can’t believe these people! There she was scoffing down cheese and onion crisps and telling me about a frigging IRON overdose… Yeah WHATEVER love! I suppose a heart attack is the more favourable option? I could even understand this statement somewhat (not much though) if I had told anyone that I was on a spinach diet, but I didn’t. When I told her that she was talking rubbish, she said that I should watch out with the spinach, and you know what? She was deadly serious. 

So last night I made it to Samba after the debacle last week, and I am proud to say that I resisted the bar beforehand so I went totally sober. However it is my thinking that alcohol may have helped somewhat with my co-ordination, and even if it didn’t I wouldn’t have realised. During the class the woman came next to me three times to “guide” me … more times than anybody else which gives you an indication of how useless I am. We were taught some routines and then the teacher tells us beginners that we can go upstairs with the advanced group to dance to the drums before class finishes. She tells us to just do the routines that we were just taught and stay in our lines that we had been put in.  

We go upstairs and get in our lines behind the advanced group. Everything is moving super duper fast. I started off ok (for all of about 2 minutes). The next thing I know is that I’ve lost the people who were in my line, I do three spins where there was only meant to be two, consequently “the routine” somersaults out of the window and I’ve crashed in to two people! I can laugh now but at the time I was mortified. I am really going to need all the help in the world to get the hang of this Samba lark in the next few weeks, so I’ve decided to attend classes twice a week.  

In other news I saw that mess that was the World Music Awards on TV last night. I’ve heard people say that Beyonce was rubbish. I beg to differ.  I thought she was great, sounded great and looked great… she always does. I could not fault her performance AT ALL. I wish that I could say the same for Chris Brown. For those that watched it, what the hell was that? The voice was WACK, the dancing was WACK, chemistry with him and the chick dancing with him – WACK. I don’t know what the organisers were thinking getting Chris Brown to do a Thriller Michael Jackson tribute… What a hot ass shitty mess. They would have been better off with Usher or Justin Timberlake

Why did they get Elle Macpherson to present best Hip-Hop/Rap award? Or better yet why was Sean Paul in this category? Anyway back to Elle, they should have at least told her that Kanye West was ONE person. I was cracking up when she said, 

“Kanye West can’t be here today, so I am going to accept this award for THEM.” 

Moving on to Michael Jackson. I find that man scary beyond belief. The white face (vitiligo my back foot), the needle eye nostrils, the Hawaiian Silky weave, the dated dress. It amazes me that he went from: 

MJKID 224x300 Overdosing on Iron By Way Of Excessive Spinach Consumption

 MJGROWN 229x300 Overdosing on Iron By Way Of Excessive Spinach Consumption

Apparently if he had aged normally he would look something like this: 

MJFORREAL 224x300 Overdosing on Iron By Way Of Excessive Spinach Consumption

In a colonic irrigation update, I don’t know if it has made any difference just apart from turning my perfect poos into imperfect poos. That I’m not happy about. If you need clarification on that just ask. 

Well… that’s all folks!

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