She Smiled At Her Monstrous Creation Like It Was Vera Wang

Red Bridesmaid 225x300 She Smiled At Her Monstrous Creation Like It Was Vera Wang

I am supposed to be bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding tomorrow. I am dreading it… I am happy for her and all but I wish she had planned this shit just a little. No one knows what is going on or how this thing is running. I went to see the tailor this afternoon to pick up my corset & skirt bridesmaid outfit. I tried it on again… Man… I nearly cried again.

The first time I went back after the fitting I was so shocked at how bad it was that I could barely speak. The “tailor” and I use the term tailor loosely because anyone that could concoct anything so awful and stand there and smile at their monstrous creation like it was Vera Wang does not deserve to be called tailor. The “corset” she made… and again I use the word corset loosely, had two bones in it.

How can something be called corset with two bones in it?

You know when you get out of the shower and wrap a towel around your body underneath your arms? Yes it looked just like that… no shape… nothing, and it was long as hell too just like a towel. Horrified is the appropriate word to describe my reaction.

But the “tailor” was grinning like a Cheshire cat, as if she had done something to be proud of. I asked her why she didn’t put more bones in it and she said that she couldn’t. I asked her why the hell not. I didn’t get an appropriate response. The skirt she had made was ill-fitting too and ruffling around the crotch area as if I was trying to pack a dick. What the fuck is that about… huh?

The worse thing was, I was even happy about the skirt because compared to the corset it looked GREAT. Imagine that? So after that ordeal, she says she is going to fix it and I plan in my head to wear my own corset underneath to give it the shape that it needs.

So I went back again a few hours ago and I had to fight back the tears again. It is just all wrong. I got over the bright redness of it, and the white net shawl but it just still looks ghastly even forgetting the colour scheme… HORRIBLE. Words cant even fully describe the monstrosity. You can be damn sure I wont have any pictures of me in that outfit.

The trick whore could see how terrible it was and she just stood there. If I claimed to be a tailor I would not allow anyone to go out wearing MY WORK looking like that. The wedding is tomorrow. I figure its too late. There is nothing I can do now. I just have to chalk the whole episode down to an experience that I will never relive again.

Then to top it off one of the other bridesmaids calls me not long ago and tells me that they have bought tiaras and I need to buy one. She tells me that she got it from Claires Accessories. She bought her and one other bridesmaid one (there are 4 bridesmaids in total). She describes it to me and tells me to get the same one. Oh! But there are loads of different tiaras at Claires, but ME… Miss Psychic is supposed to know which one it is from her shitty description. Then she tells me that it is only 3 (that equates to $5.) Why her bitch ass didnt just buy 4 frigging tiaras since it was her idea I just dont know.

So me, who is at work today is supposed to go trekking around London looking for a tiara when the wedding is tomorrow morning. These chicks are having a laugh. Funny this is… the two with the tiaras had dropped out up until a week ago. They said that they weren’t willing to wear the shoddy outfits that the tailor made. Oh… But now they are back in they wanna start calling all the shots.

Shotgun weddings suck.

If you are going to do something… just do it bloody properly

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