Blowing Up The Airport In Lisbon By Way Of Methane Gas

I cannot stop farting and seeing as I am sitting in one place and will be for the next hour or so it would not be polite for me to pass gas, not only might it upset those around me and cause possible suffocation but because it would also, cause me great embarrassment, but damnit I wanna fart so bad. I think it is because I was pigging out last night and then drank peppermint tea this morning to try and ease the bloating. I feel like a bubbling volcano. All this morning in the airport and walking from shop to shop I have been farting and running way from it leaving Ruth to inhale the fumes I leave behind.