Racism In the Workplace

Black Man In Suit

Cackface and Neville were seated in the office. A discussion with regards to the need for Air Conditioning on London’s Buses was taking place. During the conversation Cackface made the comment, “I have noticed from being on the buses that black men really stink, they smell really bad.” He then turned to me and asked, “Don’t you think?” to which I replied, “No I don’t think that that is true at all.” He then turned to Neville and repeated the same question, “Don’t you think?” to which Neville replied, “No.”

Unruly Children Annoy Me

unruly child

You can see your child picking up everything and causing a RUCKUS. CONTROL YOUR KIDS BEHAVIOUR! Damnit! One little boy is walking around picking up everything and making a lot of noise. His mother is ignoring him and every now and then shouts, “stop it!” to which he replies “NO!” Or some other piece of rudeness that he feels fit to say to her. Why is he running around into chairs and tables and your irresponsible ass does not do a damn thing?

She Asked Me If I Had A Plastic Bag

Plastic Bag

She asked a question and she got an answer, so why did the bitch not move? I am not one for repeating myself, but she forced me to, just standing over me with her beady eyes peering over her bottle glass frames. So I said, “Oh we haven’t had those plastic bags for years now.” Then she starts peering around as if I am lying at cupboards…

Mr Shaky Lip Returns With More Chocolates

Ferrero Prestige

I took my place at my desk and he started talking about courses and application forms. Then of course he had to ask about Kate, my dear colleague who has not been here for two years, “And how is my heartbeat?” I told him that she was fine, and kept it at that. After this he asked me what chocolates I liked and how he had tried to find the ones that he thought I would like but couldn’t find any. I told him Ferrero Rochers, and that they were available in any sweet shops, Supermarket or Woolworths etc. He said that he would find them, and as he left turned to me and said Fear Raych. Fear Raych what the hell is that?

Mr Shaky Lip

Russian Blonde

I’m sitting at work and this man who we used to call “shaky lip” comes in… So called because his lip is always shaking and if it’s not shaking he is biting it like someone with a bad drug habit…. He is an elderly black man from Guyana who often comes into the College to chit chat about nothing, or to apply for random courses. So he sits down talking for about half an hour about random things like how he wishes he was 23, his love for Russian blondes and the novel that he is working on.

Ying Yang Twins Whispering Is Sexy

Ying Yang Twins

Now ain’t that some shit! A seemingly decent young woman uttering such obscene language. This just shows that you can never judge a book by its cover. Behind seemingly innocent faces often lurk, a persona that goes weak at the knees on the appearance of unwashed dreadlocks, incoherent sentences and metallic breath. You learn something new every day. Acting as if you are illiterate, brandishing a mouth full of hot metal and “whispering” graphic sexual language as though you have emphysema and are high on crack is not sexy. Well not to me anyway, but apparently to Ruth it is.

Getting Caught Having A Fag

So at work we have this new manager and she doesn’t like people going off to smoke in pairs despite there being 7 of us in the office (well when there is a full house anyway which is practically never!). We are entitled to two fifteen minute breaks a day plus lunch but yet every time you try and go off she gives a disapproving glare or tries to engineer some task so that you can’t go and smoke with someone else. This means that if you want to go and smoke with someone else in the office sneaky tactics are needed. This is usually done by one person passing through one door under the guise of going to fill a water bottle/collect mail/ using the lavatory, and another person passing through the other door under some other pretence.